No one is wrong!

Yes, no one!

No one says, “I’m going to cheat”

No one says, “I’m going to hurt”

No one says, “I am going to rip them off, only because I can afford to do so”

I am sure you’d like to debate here but read on…

The problem is that we all have our own narrative. It’s the story we tell to ourselves about the situation we are in, what we are trying to achieve, what matters to us. And within that story, we are quite reasonable.

In my 7am/7pm flight to Islamabad/Karachi, I often meet and interact with seasoned politicians. Now off course, with our honest media [yes, they think they are honest], we all have a certain perception about most of them. However, as we interact [and I listen to them], I get amazed by this whole idea of narrative/story.

Let’s be clear. Narrative is not a fact. It’s not true. It’s simply our self-talk about how we look at things. It’s our excuse [we call it reason]. It’s our perception [others look at it as deception]. Our narrative reflects our grudges, privileges, opportunities, successes, failures…

No one is wrong. This idea has transformed me. It has allowed me to develop more empathy, more patience and more perspective. If you think the title of this article hurts you, I am willing to change it to “No one think that they are wrong”.

That’s why we almost never appreciate when someone points out where we are wrong. We don’t see it because it’s not the same in our worldview. This is what makes empathy such a tough job.

Having said that, we can change someone’s narrative. But it takes time. Unfortunately, we don’t have a 42 days challenge for that or a particular diet. It takes time, patience, and generosity. Changing narrative is a remarkable work. It’s not a short-run task.

As I conclude, I am sure, you are waiting for 2–3 steps on how you can change narrative of your spouse or boss or someone else. If you are, I will disappoint you.

Instead, I would like to test it with you.

See if your narrative isn’t helping you make the impact you seek to make, start pondering upon your own narrative. If the voice [your inner dialogue] tells you that you are right… at least, give others the right to be right as well.

For a better world, try changing your own narrative. Or at least, start by understanding others story.

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Sohail Zindani

Disruptor, Happiness Enthusiast, Strengths Revolutionist, Leadership & Innovation Consultant, Author, Founder, Learning Minds